


Matchmaking Sherlock

by blackcrystaly



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, betaed!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-07
Updated: 2013-01-07
Packaged: 2017-11-24 00:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/628050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackcrystaly/pseuds/blackcrystaly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock has the suspicion that Mycroft is trying to steal John for himself, so he decides that the best course of action is to pair him up with another person, and decides on Lestrade</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matchmaking Sherlock

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [[翻译] 红娘夏洛克](https://archiveofourown.org/works/966098) by [fisafisa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fisafisa/pseuds/fisafisa)



> First of all this story could be rated T but I prefered to be on the safe side.  
> Secondly, it was supposed to be a Mystrade but then this happened... I can't even trust to follow my own plans...  
> Actually I wrote it in an hour and a half so read at your own risk.
> 
> Update: This story had been betaed by the wondeful Leah_Ester. As ever I'm deeply grateful to her.  
> Any remaining mistakes are mine

Sherlock was outraged after watching his brother trying to win his doctor and blogger over for the _thirteenth_ time this month. Good thing that the blond man never realized what was happening. Or, if he did, he acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary to have the British Government sending you a black car to pick you up from work and take you home. Or send you little pretty, sometimes expensive, gifts. Sherlock had to make it stop. But he knew Mycroft better than anybody and the only way to make him retreat his paws from a prey he had set his eyes on was to offer him one that was bigger, more _edible_.

His mind quickly provided him with a suitable candidate, Detective Inspector _Gregory Lestrade_ , divorced, bisexual, had already met his sibling and knows how to deal with the Holmes’ way of doing things.

Now, he just had to devise some way for the two of them to meet and talk. And maybe do a little more without either of them suspecting he had an ulterior motive.

The consulting detective sighed, making his partner look at him worriedly.

“What’s wrong, Sherlock?” John asked, ready to try and help him.

“What’s so good about Mycroft?!” The question was sudden and the tone dreadful.

The doctor closed his laptop. The update on his blog would have to wait for a little while since obviously this was something that was making his boyfriend pretty upset… again.

“Well…” He had to be careful now because the other man had a tendency to get jealous very easily. And even though that usually led to some hot sex, which was a good thing, it also meant Sherlock trying to lock him inside the flat. Or equally powerful sulking and not talking for several days. “…for one he is well mannered.”

That was something no one could dispute so the brunette couldn’t really get mad over it. Everyone knew that the older Holmes was one to fully comply with social etiquette.

“That’s all?” he questioned, knowing perfectly well that it wasn’t.

“Sherlock, is this about your brother giving me a lift during that hell of a storm that broke out on Thursday?” John asked, rather incredulous.

“So, he is well spoken and climatically useful, what else is there to make him attractive?” the mad genius went on, not answering the other.

The former soldier was tired of this argument.  Every time that the umbrella carrying man did something remotely nice for him, like not letting him walk to 221b Baker Street in the pouring rain, replenishing their cupboard when they had been so wrapped around a case he hadn’t had a minute to go to the shop in weeks or sending them an electrician when Sherlock managed to black out the whole power in the house, only God knows how, he had a sulking or a jealous partner for days.

“He was only _helping_ , Sherlock.”  And it was the last thing he would say on the issue.

The consulting detective pouted a little, because he didn’t like when John found something good in the civil servant but then smiled. So, the doctor had actually noticed all the things that his meddling sibling was doing to win him over, but he thought that he was only trying to make his life easier and didn’t seem to think much of it.

Of course, John had no way to know that this was Mycroft’s way to woo someone; by trying to solve all the troubles in their lives, no matter if they wanted it or not. Sure, he usually tried to do it for him too, but they were family so it was only to be expected. Moreover, Sherlock knew that the older Holmes loved him, just as he loved the infuriating bastard, as long as he ceased and desisted from stealing John from his side.

“Now I’m worried.  You have that wolfish smile and that never bores well…”

Watson’s words startled him. He had been lost in his own mind long enough to forget that the man was no longer doing whatever it was that had his attention previously.

“Do you think that Mycroft and Lestrade would make a good couple?” Sherlock asked all of a sudden.

The blond was relieved. “So, _that’s_ what this is all about?” he exclaimed.

Sherlock thought for the umpteenth time that he would never quite understand the doctor’s mind but that was perfectly alright with him. It was one of the many things that made him fall in love with him. The consulting detective nodded shortly and waited.

The former soldier thought about it for a moment. “Yes. I think they’d be very good for one another.”

“How so?” It wasn’t just curiosity on his part. He wanted to know how someone so different from him, so normal on so many things, viewed the possibility of pairing the British Government to the NSY’s finest. Because it was probably how said detective inspector saw it as well.

“Greg loves to serve the country and your brother is the physical representation of it, according to you. He’s a free man since he divorced that cheater of a wife he had and your brother is pretty much single, so no drama there. He has a job that isn’t exactly easy or has fixed hours, just like your brother.” He knew that his lover had already gone over all of these reasons so he decided to be a little playful. “And he is a silver fox, according to popular opinion, and your brother is a ginger fox, which means they are a compatible species.”

That one won him a hit by a thrown sofa pillow.

John wondered what had prompted the detective to try and pair up the two people who had been the most supportive of their relationship. “Sherlock, I’m almost afraid to ask but… exactly what brought this on?”

The consulting detective contemplated for a moment the idea of lying to the other man but then decided against it. “I have to find Mycroft a man of his own so he stops _trying to get mine!_ ”

The smaller man laughed wholeheartedly. Then he stood up and walked towards his rapidly angering flatmate. Once in front of him, John fell to his knees and made eye contact with the other.

“Now, I want you to hear me out, Sherlock, and I want you to listen carefully.” His tone was serious, making the brunette tense. “Mycroft isn’t after me romantically, and never was. He is just helping, because that’s what’s in his nature. Just like solving crimes and puzzles, no matter the cost, is in yours.”

“ _You don’t know him as I do_. I recognize the pattern!” Sherlock shouted, finally losing it.

He was about to stand up and storm out of their living room when the doctor took him by the wrist and applied a soft pressure that he knew meant John wanted the detective to stay because he wasn’t finished. So the brunette sighed again and resigned himself to hear the rest of it.

“Sherlock, no one could possibly know Mycroft as you do, obviously. The other way around is equally valid. Do you really think that he would try and take me away from you? Is he that kind of brother?”

The taller one pouted, knowing he couldn’t quite dispute the other’s words. His sibling had never actually stolen a man from him, but that was because he’d only had five and only John was this interesting. But he wouldn’t be telling the doctor that anytime soon.

“Now, you _big idiot_ , stop thinking about setting your brother up with Lestrade. Because first, you wouldn’t know where to start and no, putting two people inside a room and shouting at them to go have sex is not the way to do it.”

The mad genius look at his man offended. Who was he to dare suggest that Sherlock would lack the finesse necessary to casually ensure that the British Government and the yarder stood alone in an undisclosed location and convince them that it was in their best interests to bed one another!

John kissed his frowned brow, before going on with his tirade. “Second, they are smart enough to realize what you are doing…”

Now the detective gave him an incredulous look which made the former soldier smile.

“Alright, your brother is.”

It wasn't that Greg was an idiot. Of course, Sherlock wouldn’t have kept working with the man if he was, but Greg wouldn’t even see him coming.

“Third, as you don't have Mycroft’s gift of subtlety it wouldn't go quite as smoothly as you’re imagining…”

That one hurt. He didn’t say a word, but being compared to the older Holmes just to underline his somewhat inadequacy in human interaction was a low blow. And the lack of faith that his boyfriend was exhibiting was somewhat disappointing.

The man seemed to realize at least some of his feelings because John moved closer and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. “Sorry, Sherlock, but it’s the truth, But if you need an ego boost Mycroft could never compare to you in adventurous spirit…”

“That’s not much praise, John.”

The blond smiled. “Yes, it is. But I’ll go back to singing your praises later, okay?” he offered, knowing he had to address the issue at hand before things got out of control

“And last but not least, Sherlock, and I really can’t believe you don’t know this, _because Lestrade and Mycroft have been dating for three months._ ”

The beautiful consulting detective looked thunderstruck. How could he miss something this big? Even more important, why had no one thought of telling him the good—and really it was excellent—news. Now he wouldn’t have to choose between matching the yarder with his brother or murdering said relative to make sure he kept his paws off his lover.

He took his phone from his pocket and typed furiously.

**Just heard from John. Congratulations. Why didn’t you tell me?! SH**

The phone vibrated a moment later.

**Thought you already knew. GL**

**Thanks, by the way. GL**

So much, for expecting a satisfying answer from the detective inspector.

**Because, dear brother, one would think you would observe and not merely see. MH**

That answer made him blush a little and part of him wanted to throw the mobile against the nearest wall in a fit. But he controlled it because he didn’t want to break it this soon after having purchased a new one.

He looked at John who was still on his knees, silently supporting him. He put the mobile aside and pulled the blond soldier against his body, hugging him back and kissing him passionately.

An incoming text forced them to separate briefly, but it was on the doctor’s cell.

**Your shopping order will be delivered on Saturday and the clinic won’t need you until next Monday. Enjoy the weekend. MH**

Watson read it, smiled and promptly erased it. He really didn’t need a suspicious Sherlock on his hands anytime soon.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The characters belong to ACD and BBC network I'm just playing with them


End file.
